My How a Year Changes Things

Wow how a year ( plus a few months ) can change things.
My life has change so much in the last year and a half i cant even begin to put it in to words .
Prior to July 07 I was a miserable person , there is no other way to put it. I was unhappy with my self, unhappy with my life, unhappy with my marriage just plain unhappy . Most if not all of it stemmed from my weight . ( See picture to the left) I mean really look at me . I did not want to go anywhere, do anything , take my children anywhere or be seen in public , i was a step away from a shut in probably .
After i had my surgery my life slowly changed. I slowly felt better about myself . I slowly wanted to do things , wanted to get out of the house , be around people , go more places. As more weight came off i felt better and better about myself. I can honestly tell you now having my band put in was THE BEST choice i have ever made for MYSELF ! So many times women put themselves last. We are mothers, we are wives we are care takers . We forget we are WOMEN , we are our own selves too ! Our priorities , our selves get put on the back burners and we neglect ourselves. I can tell you that is what happened to me . But i can tell you that will never , ever , ever happen to me again . I will not put myself on the back burner . I will take care of myself . I may not always be able to put myself first ( we are after all mothers too ) BUT I will make myself a priority .
This year has been tough as well. BUT the change has been shocking to even me . I still have things to work on , still have more weight to get off. But I cant tell you how happy I am with the start so far. To those of you who are frustrated. Work the band , let it work for you ! In the end its an AMAZING Feeling !!!!
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU ALL !!!!

Woman missing on Cruise Ship May have jumped due to body image .

I only wanted to share this story because i have heard that people think this woman may have jumped off this ship because she was not happy with the way she looked after WLS.
This concerns me greatly . The story also says she was bipolar.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081230/ap_on_re_us/missing_cruise_passenger
But It bring up a good point , people do not talk about what happens after you lose weight. how you might feel, look after the weight comes off. I can tell you that someone asked me once to "take off the skirt on my swim suit" basically saying " OH YOU Have nothing to hide" your a size 10 ( at the time ) . But what that person did not realize is that my size 10,8, 6 ect body NOW USE to be a 24 . Just because someone looks good on the outside does not mean they feel good all the time.
it takes time for your fat self to catch up w/ your thin self. Dont assume that because someone LOOKS like a size 6 they feel that way ! Does that make sense ? Im not saying you should not compliment them , but I think alot of times ( I have done this too) people see " thin" and jealousy kicks in or envy kicks in and they think " what do you have to complain about bitch you are a size such and such at least you have lost the weight " . But people need to keep in mind we still have the same feelings !
I still do not see a small or tiny person . I dont think i ever will. I am just now seeing a "smallER" person . And i can tell you that what is under my clothes is NOT what appears with clothes on !
I have saggy boobs , ( they look like 2 wet tube socks ) I have a saggy apron around my waist that needs to be cut off, I have saggy arms , and I have saggy skin on my thighs !

My point with this ..... Sometimes things are not what they seem and people are not as happy as you might think JUST BECAUSE they lost weight !!!
So dont judge !


Mindy

Our Family Portraits

As you might have read earlier my family has never had family pictures done before because of my weight. I barely allowed any pictures of me prior to my weight loss.
So this yr i wanted all of us to have pictures done. After i scheduled the session my husband told me " Ya know I have NEVER had ANY family portraits done " his family did not have a lot of money when he was growing up . So this was a big deal for him too.
SO Here are a couple of my favorites. The one's of my boys all turned out good !

WOOOO NELLY

I need a fill QUICKLY ! This sucks ! I can eat nearly anything i want the only good thing is I DO have a stopping point but its pretty big !And i am hungry all the time , this is ALMOST As bad as a total unfill ! SHIT ! I dont want to gain weight. I have to tell ya'll im getting a little panicky !! .
I JUST WANT THESE LAST 10 DAMN POUNDS OFF !! Im telling ya'll these last 20 are a BITCH !

The Food

Well Christmas is almost over and I am here to say im glad.
I did not have much spirit this yr between the economy hurting us and not looking forward to gaining any weight.
I am SO Glad i did not take my doc up on totally unfilling me for the holidays ( Although I dont think he REALLY would have done it ) Because im as close as you can get right now with out being totally unfilled.
Its been hard ! Real hard. I COULD if i wanted eat bread, pasta, rice ect.
I have restriction , a little , its not much , if i push it its there.
But im really trying not to , i dont want to gain a bunch of weight being this close.
I want the scale to stay at least at or under 140 if i can ! I WILL NOT , Hear me people , I will NOT GO over 140 ! Why do I always get unfills at or near holidays or vacations , that kind of crap ? UGHH.
Luckily my parents did not go TOO over board on junk this yr . The holidays remind me JUST how much of a grazer i am !
I made brownies that was it and i left them over at my parents house LOL
So back on the Wii i go !!!

I hope everyone else had a great time and the food was not too much of an issue for them !

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to everyone !
I hope ya'll have a great day and holiday .
Will post later .
Mindy

Doctors Visit Today Unfill

Doc said my fill level looks good. But he said from my last PB episode and sinus drainage ( from trying to get sick right now ) that between the 2 its just not working for me and obviously causing me problems .
He asked me " So you want a total unfill for the holidays " I said " HELLL NOOOO " LOL He laughed and said " thought i would ask " I asked him about my weight and my frustration w/ feeling like not being able to eat . He said " I understand how you feel but your SO Close , lets get the last 11 pds off , that will give you some wiggle room and once we get you to goal you wont need many fills and wont have the issues of needing fills and unfills and going back and forth"
So i was ok w/ that. He thinks this next fill might be my last .
OH and this was SO Nice, they asked me before he saw me if I wanted to do it under flouro i said I would " prefer to not have it done because of money " i got in there and we started talking and he said lets take a look at your band under flouro " On the way out I went to pay for the flouro he said " NO NO Its not charge consider it a Christmas gift " So that was a relief i only had $250 left until Monday when Jason got back . So that left me some money .

So Hopefully i can keep from gaining a bunch of weight and go back after the holidays and have one or maybe 2 more fills and be at goal !

Poll

I put up a poll i would like ya'lls opinions !
Should I lose more weight ? I have 11 more pds to get to my "original" goal of 125 .
If i lose 6 more that puts me at 130 which I could be happy with .
Or Should i stay where i am at 136 and see how things go ?
PLEASE be honest ?

What to do ?

I am going to see my doc on Thursday . I am still a little tight , I am going back and forth tight "ok" not comfortable just ok.
So im going to have to get a slight unfill. I'll beat his ass if he wants to totally unfill me ! So here is my dilema ... I am pretty happy w/ my weight right now .
I would like to maybe lose another 6 pds or so to get to 130 .
I think im going to talk to my doc about my weight loss and my goal.
Should keep trying to lose some more or can this , is this enough ?
I will see what he thinks about it . As of 140lbs I am a "normal" weight . If I lost another 6 i would be happy if not I think i would be happy . But with as sensitive as I am w/ my fills and all that I am just thinking this might be enough ?
So we'll see ?

Ladies and Maybe some Men ... I give you my ASS .....

In a size 7 designer jeans !!! WOO HOO ! LMAO




I have to admit this is the first picture i have taken that I see myself as SmallER , not tiny but SMALL !!!


I went to a really cool consignment shop today with my sister. I really have fallen in love w/ expensive jeans since losing weight . But im too cheap to buy them .
Plus I love deals and would rather get a deal on them then buy full price.
WELL , Today i got a pair of Lucky Brand Jeans for $19.50 ( retails for around $150)
and a pair of Chip and Pepper ( Never heard of them until today ) for $20.00 They retail for about $150 too .
THEN yesterday my sisters friend, Her aunt owned a boutique that was going out of business ( did you follow that ) and i got 2 pairs of designer jeans ( Blue Cult and Big Star ) for $100 for both of them , those were a little more expensive, but SO worth it. So i am set for jeans for a while !!!

Hot Damn ! I might just get to goal yet !!

So my band has been fickle to say the least lately !
I do not like keeping my band too tight. And when it is tight off and on like its been I will go on liquids if i have to , However I dont live on liquids.
I am pretty sure If i cant eat "normal" by Monday I will go in for a slight unfill.
HOWEVER I will have to admit ( and i DONT CONDONE This for ONE SECOND ) it would be tempting NOT to . Now i think my band has been going tight lose , tight to lose because of my period ( which is now over and because of sinus drainage , stress too ) but On Monday i weighted 140 . Today I weight 136 ! That puts me 11 pds from goal !
But if im still tight on Monday i will go in for a slight unfill. I just hope that does not slow down my weight loss. But OMG Im SO CLOSE I can taste it I was just wondering if i would EVER get there !!!!
Can I really be this close ?

Oprah PLEASE !!! Give me a break !! (A Vent)

Ok i must vent a bit. Sometimes I like Oprah ,most times i dont. But NOW I dont like her , Why ? Because the Red Sea is parting because she's admitting she's Fat again ? NO SHIT Sherlock !!! NOW Dont get me wrong , Im not hating ... What i have an issue about it EVERYONE ( Including her) making a big freaking deal out of the fact that she's Acknowledged it .
Ok here is the article !! Read for yourself !
http://www.oprah.com/article/omagazine/200901_omag_oprah_weight

Ok here are my issues.
When Oprah is thin she acts like the way she got thin is the ONLY way to get thin and everyone else is wrong for how they lost weight.
She has done NOTHING but negatives for WLS and for what it can do for people.
I think had she not stuck her foot in her mouth there she would have had some form of surgery by now . But NOW she CANT or she will look STUPID .

She acts as though we should give her an Emmy for admitting what thousands of other people do every day about their weight. Because your OPRAH should we say " OH GOOD FOR YOU , YOur so BRAVE " NO Kiss my ass on that. Your not different than ANYONE that came before you . I have no issue w/ what ever you weight, when ever you weight it. But I'll be DAMNED if when you get thin your going to sit here and preach to ME that WLS is a scam, dangerous, and all the other CRAP You do . Yet you over the yrs can go on your show and brag about DIET AFTER DIET AFTER DIET YOU have gone on .
I call BULL SHIT O !!!

The SOONER everyone else realizes O is just like everyone else maybe the sooner SHE WILL !!!

SO here is your chance .... So your 200 lbs again ... WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD , Something YOUR MONEY CANT FIX !!!!

Someone on a group im on wrote this :
P.S. Thank you Oprah for speaking your truth and sharing your story. Your words resonate deeply with millions of people and serve to motivate positive change in the world. You are a most precious gift to the universe!

SERIOUSLY ??? Are you kidding me ? No offense to the Author of this , But WHY ? Every single person i come in contact w/ every day is a gift to the universe because of the struggles they have and ADMIT TO on a message board. yet OPRAH is because she said it in front of people to get more publicity and more MONEY ? Yes she's so noble ? I think im going to go throw up now !

Mindy

Fickle Fickle

Is my band ! Last few days I was about to get worried. Could barely get liquids down .
Between the sinus drainage i was having and the start of my TOM my band had really tightened up . I was about to call my doc if it went on one more day .
TODAY !! If i wanted to I think i could eat anything ! .
Yesterday it literally took me an hour to get down 1 cup of vitamin water. Today I can drink it fine, I had not been able to take my meds in 3 days because they would get stuck , Now Im totally fine !
I wish i could figure out 100% what does this to my band. It would SURE make my life easier !!!
But glad im "normal" feeling again .

Vitrual Weight Loss

Want to see what you will look like after your weight loss ?
A friend of mine showed me this and its pretty cool !
http://www.weightview.com/new/index.asp

OMG Im Normal ! We'll sort of

My BMI now that i hit 140 is NORMAL !!! 24.0 on the DOT any more i would still be "over weight' But Im NORMAL !!! Seems like forever its taken me to get "normal" again !! Geesh ! Im so excited !!!
Thought i would share !!

Scales a moving again

And Now im 15 pounds from Goal , its moving Slowly granted but its moving !
At this point i would be happy with another 5lbs off and stopping at that point. I would be 135 then and I think i could live w/ that ?
But we'll see how things go !

Update on Family Pictures

Well We did not get pictures taken on Sunday ! I was not real happy . We went to JcPenny's and we had an appt at 3:40 . We waited and waited at 440 Jason asked " how much longer will ya'll be " they said ANOTHER HOUR at LEAST , we had camera problems in the AM and it set us behind " His response was " WELL If you had issues in the AM WHY didnt you people call US and let us know not to show up for an hour later ! "
So we left ! No pictures, i was mad .
This am JcPenny's called and said " We are sorry you left if you would like to reschedule your pictures we will give you 2 free sheets ! "
So next Sunday we will be going to get our pictures taken and see if it works out then!

Mindy

BIG step and NSV/ SV For me !!

This Sunday My family ( husband , 2 boys and myself ) are going to get family portraits done. Big deal you say ! Well my oldest is 16 and my youngest is 7 . Jason and I have been married for 9 yrs in Feb. The Last time WE had our pictures taken TOGETHER was our wedding . The last time the boys had their together ( other than candid shots ) was about 5 yrs ago . As a FAMILY we have NEVER had a family portrait , i would NEVER allow it . I was too big and no way i was getting in front of a camera willingly ! Hell i had to search for "before" pics of me from everyone i know to find those . Im actually excited about this. The boys , well they are just like " OK Mom making us where matching crap ( just solid colored T's ) and Jason is like " Oh ok dear what ever makes you happy , boys shut up and just do it "
So im excited, Hopefully i can show them to you in a week or so !!!

WELL SNOT !

Literally , Snot is my issue tonight.
I live in Austin TX ( Outside of it really ) The SNOT capital of the world i think.
If you have allergies that is , and I do . Not really bad but from time to time i have some issues.
WELL I am having quite a bit of sinus drainage ( OK this MIGHT BE TMI But im blogging about this because this CAN be an issue for people who have sinus drainage badly when it comes to the band so Newbies LISTEN UP ) and i think im getting "sick" Allergy sick.

I have thrown up twice today and im pretty sure its from sinus build up . Basically SNOT hanging out in my stomach . SO If this keeps up I might have to go get a damn slight unfill from SNOT !! Can you believe that SNOT !!!!

Awesome New Recipe Book "CHEAP .FAST.GOOD"

http://www.amazon.com/Cheap-Fast-Good-Beverly-Mills/dp/0761131760/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1228364177&sr=8-3

Right now Im ALL about saving money , fast meals and good meals.
I have a 16 yr old football player who is now a powerlifter. And after going to the grocery store yesterday and spending $194 for a WEEK worth of groceries its killing me. I was telling my best friend, "How the hell do people who have 3,4, 5 boys do this w/ food " SO Went to my sons book fair at school ( my 7 yr old ) and food this book its called " Cheap Fast Good" Here is a description from Amazon :
Not a penny-pinching cookbook—a "get smart!" cookbook.
No more staring helplessly at rising grocery bills or, too harried for time, shelling out twenty-five bucks for mediocre take-out. The work of two brilliant problem-solvers, Cheap. Fast. Good! cuts through both the budget dilemma and the time dilemma with 275 recipes for great, family-pleasing dishes, most of which take under 25 minutes to prepare and average out to cost less—and usually far less—than $2 a serving.

I tell ya its A BIBLE !!! AWESOME !! I can tell it might take a little time to go through some of the tips. Some of them I use some verison of here and there. But If i put them all together a little better like this book suggests It would be great !
I HIGHLY Recommend it .
And NOW that i think about it , There are soups ( Liquids) Casseroles ( Mushies)
And lots of other awesome recipes ( SOLIDS ) So it works , or can work for the band LOL . I'll let you know once i get through the money saving tips how its going .

Mindy

OREOS ARE EVIL

[Glitterfy.com - *Glitter Words*]
OK I have found the ONE thing that is a weakness ! OREO"S DOUBLE STUFF to be exact !
They just CAN NOT BE IN MY HOUSE ! Really they are not good for anyone but my boys eat the hell out of them too .
I got a package today and I ate about 7 and my boys well , the package is nearly gone !!
NO MORE OREO's ! IM ON strike from them .I would have to say its ONE thing I nearly binge one !
Damn things ! EVIL i tell ya EVIL !

Here is Asia !!!

Here is a better picture of Asia


Pictures did not come out well she wont sit still very long !
You can see one of her ears are clipped thanks to the stupid SPCA !