Dont Judge !

Its been pointed out to me by several people that I am not the most fun  , positive person to be around lately. This is something I am aware of . Its something I dont like , I do not like being this way , its not who I am .
However its something on most cases I cant help at this moment or cant seem to help .
People who know me , really know me , know I am not normally this bitchy . So therefore something must be wrong huh ? Yes. I dont want to be a fat miserable person . My weight itself is not the only thing  affecting how I am acting.
I wish people would take the time to stop and ask " what is going on ,?" instead of just " STOP BITCHING " I am VERY Aware of how I am at this point and I dont like it either .. But i would like for you all to take a few things into consideration ..

A. I am only able to eat less than 1000 calories a day .
B. Of that half of it gets thrown up
C. Eating physically hurts me
D. I am in physical pain daily from what this band has done to me .. I know i know its all my fault huh ?
E. I ache from head to toe daily .

Believe it or not I actually TRY not to complain that much .. But take a few things into consideration before you judge me  .

These are the affects of not eating on a persons body ...
Physical effects

Decreased resting
metabolic rate (RMR)
Drop in sex hormones
(estrogen, testosterone)
Decreased sexual interest
Amenorrhea (no menses)
Bone loss
Constipation and
gastrointestinal upset
Sleep disturbance
Weakness
Hypothermia (feeling cold
all the time)
Loss of lean body mass
Changes in brain chemistry
that increase appetite and
food cravings. ( did you read that ? Not only can I NOT Eat with out throwing up my brain and my stomach
are telling me to EAT because its HUNGRY ) 

Cognitive effects

Decreased concentration
Poor judgment
Apathy

Effects on attitudes and
behaviors towards food

Food preoccupation
Collection of recipes,
cookbooks, and menus
Unusual eating habits
Increased consumption of
coffee, tea, and diet sodas
Increased use of spices
Loss of body’s natural
mechanisms for regulating
hunger and fullness

Emotional and social effects

Depression
Anxiety
Irritability and anger
Lability (ever-changing
mood)
Personality changes
Social withdrawal


I dont want people's pity  . However, Am I pissed off that I am over weight again ? YES .. Is it my own fault I am over weight again ? NO .. Its the bands fault PERIOD ..
Am I bitter that something that was suppose to make me healthy , and lose weight has actually done the opposite ? YES I am .
Listen to me very carefully to this .. Unless you have EVER been 100lbs or more over weight you have NO IDEA what its like just being over weight .. Let along all the other issues I am going through . And Its not just me going through this . This is not an isolated incident . Its everyone else who is suffering through the affects of the failed bands. It does not help me or make me feel better either to tell me " I told you not to get the band in the first place " or " YOU got the band no one made  you " well NO SH*T  SHERLOCK !! Is Anyone that ignorant to think i would have gotten this thing knowing it would do this to me ? GIVE ME A BREAK ....  So the VERY least that can be done is empathize with people . Dont judge !!!