First Christmas with my Sleeve

My first Christmas, holiday with my new sleeve. I will be the first to admit I have been eating like total crap lately , the past week or so I would say  . Am i worried about it ? No .. I have gone so long with out eating real food, good food that I decided to not worry about it . Would this be advice I would give someone else ? At this point in the game , if they have gone through a revision and not eating solid foods for a year . Probably so . I can start working out full blown January first , I have been walking now . But I will start yoga in my house until I can join a gym.
Even with eating too often and not the right foods, I have not gained any weight , i have not lost anything in a few weeks but that's mainly due to the stall the normally happens around this time of year.

I have been "hungry " alot lately , but that has more to do with needing a PPI ( Prilosec ect ) than anything. It seems "Silent reflux" can make those of us with surgery feel like we are hungry .. So that's helping a little , it can take a coupe weeks for it to work fully . But over all I am happy with my progress. I am loosing inches ( which I need to start measuring so i know how much ) So Im pleased with my new sleeve !!

FOOD !!

Today is 20 days post op ! My husband and I went to get some breakfast this morning . I ordered scrambled eggs and re fried beans . For the first time in over a year I was able to eat semi solid foods and not be in pain and not have to vomit after eating it . I couldn't believe it. After spending 5 days in the hospital with complications and throwing up a few times after i got home I was starting to wonder IF this surgery even "fixed" my problems . A lot of times after surgery people start to have " Buyers " remorse as my doc calls it . Meaning they start to wonder if they did the right thing. And after nearly a month of no food I was starting to wonder that my self !

After today though I have new hope that this is going to work .  Eating with out pain or throwing up !!!
AMAZING ! I forgot what it felt like to not have to run to the bathroom as soon as you were done eating !
Awesome !

Can you Feel it ? I can !

My food that is . This maybe hard for some to comprehend if you have never experienced this but its something I have been  meaning to write about for a long time. I have been on liquids or mushy food for the last day or so because of stomach swelling from throwing up . When this happens its pain ful for me to eat. Even on "normal" days when I try to eat its painful and uncomfortable.
Something strange happens though on certain foods when I eat . I can actually feel my food pass through where my band is or maybe its where the scar tissue is now , But I can feel it going " down " into my stomach. Big deal huh ? Not so fast. Imagine trying to squeeze a tennis ball through a opening of a balloon and how that might feel . My doc even thought i was kind of crazy until he did an upper GI one day and I told him " I can feel that liquid right THERE " and where I pointed was where the liquid was sitting on top of my band . He knew then I could actually feel where food was in my body .

Today was a little different , I could actually feel my Pudding of all things going down . Normally I can sometimes feel liquids going through . But can you imagine how strange and frankly gross it would be if you could feel your food emptying into your stomach every time you ate it ? Yeah its not real peachy !

Why am I telling you all this NOW ? When I am trying to get surgery ? I think its important for other bandsters who are thinking about getting banded to read this /

Sh*t I cant eat....

I am going to start making a list and keep adding to it of stuff I cant eat due to my band being jacked up .
Some days I can eat these items others I can not . For the most part I can not . 

Pork
Chicken
Fried items
Asparagus
Bread
Rice
Pasta
Red Meat
Anything Breaded
Brussels Sprouts
Eggs ( In small amounts I can )
Pizza unless its REALLY REALLY thin.
Turkey
Luch meat
Sliced cheese




NOW Lets see what I can eat that does not give me issues.

Anything liquid
Ice Cream
Squash
Lettuce ( Although sometimes gets stuck )
Cookies
Chips
Salsa
shrimp (Sometimes gives me issues
Soup

That's my list for now . FUN Huh ? Does not leave much protein room . And before you ask I drink protein shakes when i can , however because i have migraines I can only drink a couple kinds.

Vegan, Vegetarian or neither ?

After having some issues with eating meat lately and being lactose intolerant I have been thinking about going Vegan or Vegetarian. Since my lap band has gone bad I have not been able to eat meat comfortably for over a year now . It hurts going down , it feels like it gets stuck nearly every time I eat it . So Its just not work it to me I dont think anymore.
I am not sure if I know how to be a vegan or a vegetarian , although I probably eat 80% vegetables as it is now . But it hit me the other day .. What I am doing is not eating correctly during the majority of the day because meat bothers me , so I am not getting much protein in , then I turn to high calorie high fat things like Ice cream and sweets to get " Full" on , which is causing in part my weight gain .
So is anyone a vegan or vegetarian ?

Dinner On Mushies

People ask me all the time what I eat.
Well, here ya go . Dont hate before you ate !

What the hell is it you ask ??

Acorn squash ( Bottom layer going up )
W/ Sour cream , guacamole, cheese, morning star black bean burger ( Chopped fine )pic ante Sauce and cottage cheese . How much will I be able to eat on my current fill level ? Probably less than half.

Is this good . Actually yes it is . I will eat this after my fill diet is over ( in a few days )

If you try this let me know how you like it .

Eating ... Starting Over High Protein

I need to start over in eating, band eating. I noticed in reading a few others blogs that we all seem to have issues, need refreshers from time to time in that.
So I thought I would try to ( TRY being the operative word) post something a couple times a week ( or at least once in a while LOL ) about food.

Today since the band order of eating is Protein, veggies, fruits then starches I'll start w/ foods high in protein.

Because of my issues w/ my stomach I have tried the best I can to avoid red meat and some other meats. Which is making me nearly a vegetarian . Now with the band that is going to be rough because we need protein .

So here are some foods/links/ lists that might help ...
http://heartspring.net/list_of_high_protein_foods.html
http://commonsensehealth.com/Diet-and-Nutrition/List_of_High_Protein_Foods.shtml

"Best High Protein Foods"

* whey (supplement found in health food stores)
* chicken breast
* turkey breast
* salmon
* tuna
* cottage cheese
* swordfish
* haddock
* lean ground turkey
* round steak
* sirloin steak
* lean ground beef
* orange roughy
* eggs
* pork
* crab
* lobster
* shrimp
* buffalo

Source for above info ( womenshealth.com)

They say it takes 2 weeks .....

Of working out everyday to make it a habit . So Im on day 2 !
Day 1. 30 minutes of walking/running on the treadmill and about 10 minutes of weights
Day 2. 20 minutes of walking/running on treadmill and 10 on the elliptical and only a few minutes of weights . I did not have much time today , but i knew if i did not go even for a little bit i wouldn't go at all.
My goal is to go for an hour by the end of the week.

Something kind of negative triggered this "working out " thing w/ me .
Well a few things . The first is I cant afford to go get a fill for another few weeks. So I figured If I start working out ( I know something i should have started 2 years ago ) I can at least MAYBE head off any more weight gain .
Second. My best friend of many years was telling me about another friend of her's she ran into that had lap band surgery and she was going on and on about how great she looked and how " she had no hanging skin , and looked so great cause SHE worked out from day one ." she then said " Well she hasnt had kids or anything yet but still she looks great !
NOW mind you she tells me or use to how great I look . But it kind of hit a nerve w/ me , like it was a dig at me that I dont work out .
Maybe its just my guilt at knowing I need to work out . SO that's why I started it .
I still need my fill badly . I cant hardly control my hunger at night . I could go work out all day and come home at night and eat 4 dinners . So I need the control. So hopefully i can get a fill soon !

My new favorite thing to eat !! Yes its "processed" I guess, but i LOVE LOVE LOVE morning star products. Not all of them are my favorite, but almost all of them i have had are good.
This one tastes like REAL lasagna ! Nothing nasty about it . It tastes fresh , and healthy.
I hate , and i mean HATE frozen dinners or food. They taste nasty to me and never taste like "real " food. But this one is GOOOD . No , no one is paying me for this ( I wish LOL) but i wanted to let ya'll know about it .

So if you try the Lasagna let me know what you think !
They also have a new Chinese Sweet and Sour meal out too . Let me know if you try that one !

Shopping my "new way" on a buget

Has proven to be challenging . I went Sunday to the grocery store and followed my new rules. First off chicken , natural chicken NOT happening . Its $6.00 a pound ! WTF ? So im going to have to try something else. There was another brand at my store that says 100% natural that's abotu the same price as "regular" chicken i went ahead and got, but im going to have to see what the difference is . Need to do more research.
There are a few "Natural" food stores in town that have prices close to the regular store prices on produce and meat , again need to check them out . I am in the home town or the birth place of Whole Foods. But they are expensive i know that.

I did try Chocolate Almond Milk . And its not bad ! I have been using it to take my meds with in the morning . It has a after taste, not a bad one , not sure what the taste is , but its there.

My normal weekly grocery bill is around $150 , it was about $175 this week , so that's not bad. Im also going to go back to clipping coupons, something i use to do religiously and got away from. So that should help as well.

This way of shopping, thinking and eating is going to take some more planning .

Being self concious after 125 pounds and 10 years of Marriage

So lately , for what ever reason I have been very self conscious . Well OK its for a few reasons.
Its started with A face book " issue" that came up with my husband ( Nothing major ) that I was uncomfortable with and it made me really stop and think about a lot of things , and ended up making me self conscious. I have gained a few pounds ( 10 to be exact ) and I'm feeling fat again .

When i was 250 pounds I was self conscious yes. However I did not care either. I did not care about my marriage, did not care about myself, i could have cared less if my husband cheated on me . I know that sounds horrible , but hell who would have blamed him, did you SEE what i looked like ? At least that's how I looked at it.

SO after feeling paranoid that my husband might want to leave me NOW we did a lot of talking this weekend and I did a lot of thinking . What he said was " If I was going to leave you or cheat on you i would have done it when you were 250 pounds and MISERABLE therefore making ME miserable ( Lets face it I was and he was ) NOT now when you are happier than you have been and I am happy because you are happy , don't be silly, your stuck w/ me and I'm stuck with you "
But it got me thinking , after 10 years of marriage there are things that I use to do for him to make sure , keep him happy , ( not just in bed either you dirty minded people LOL ) .
But as the years move on , you get in a routine the little things you use to do for each other fall to the waste side. The little things like giving each other a kiss for now reason , calling and saying " how was your day " or " I love you " for no reason . We just don't do that anymore.Or even making SURE your partner is happy , and doing things JUST to make them happy or feel good stops.So we both decided we are going to work on doing that again . We will be married 10 years in February. I am really happier than ever w/ myself( besides this issue ) . I just need to do those little things to have him feel good every now and then again . So does he.

Its funny how at 140ish pounds and 125 pounds lost being self conscious now sets in ? I worry now " Is my hanging stomach too gross for him , are my 2 wet tube socks I call boobs too nasty for him to look at " ? Maybe he would be happier w/ someone who did not have that.
He reassures me that's not the case. So maybe these little things here and there will make me feel better as well..

Does this make sense ? I hope someone else can relate to this too . Maybe I'm just nuts and I'm the only one !

Seriously ... BITE ME !!

Ok pissy mood right now . But im tired of this ..
My band has been unfilled for about amonth now . I have gained close to 15 pounds AGAIN ! For people who dont have the band or have never had it totally unfilled I have 1 thing to say to you . BITE ME ! No not really . But peopel do NOT understand how this feels. Im hungry ALL THE TIME !! Its just not normal to eat chili that has 20 grams of protein in it and 20 mintues later be able , feel like you can eat MORE ! This is just horrible ya'll. I go to the doc Monday and see if he will fill me . I dont know that he will until we see more about the band . But if he does not im liable to grab him by the collar and say " LISTEN HERE DOC " !!!
Im getting very unhapyp with the amount of weight i have gained. My clothes are not fitting me ! UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Sorry i just had to vent !!

Eating, grocery shopping ...

Is a struggle these days. Not because of any issues with my band but because of how my father cooks and shops. He goes to the grocery store EVERY DAY . Who does that ?
First off its MORE expensive and it just is not practical. The first few weeks he was working a lot so it was pretty well for me because i was doing the cooking.
Now its kind of " who ever asks first " does it.
He tries to please everyone in the family , i will give him that.
But Its REALLY hard to NOT eat crap when there is a BUNCH Of crap in this house.
I dont buy soda's at ALL . My kids have not had soda's except an occasional root beer here and there in nearly 2 yrs. We move in here and there is soda's every where. My oldest really does not drink them much but he has started drinking them again because they are so "available" .

Its just not how i like to or want to cook for my family or shop for them .

But I guess im stuck with it for another few months.

Things are going pretty good. My parents are being very nice .

Hubby has had my youngest in Houston all this week. So i have had some "down" time !
Its been NIIIICCCCEE !! REAL nice LOL

Anyway ... Had to give a little vent i guess today .
Thanks for listening .

Tip of the Day : Eating Well For Less

It has been a long time since i have done one of these . LOL
So one thing ya'll might know about me is I am the CHEAPEST person in the world.
If i dont have to pay full price for something I wont. I will do what ever it takes to figure out a way to NOT pay full price.
One of my guilty pleasures since losing weight is designer jeans. However I will not pay $200 and up for them . Second hand stores are my FAVORITE for this ...
Which leads me to the tip of the day .
With the economy the way it is eating well can be a challange. Lets face it eating healthy is expensive. So my trick the BIGGEST One ...
COUPONS ! I am a COUPON Fanatic. Someone told me once " I dont have time for coupons' My response to them was " Then you dont have time to save money "
I spend 30 mintues a Sunday clipping them and organizing them and that's it.
And can save as much as $50-100 at the grocery store. Not to mention the FREE stuff i get.
This is one of my favorite sites. She has a really good explianation of how to orgainzie coupons, how to utilize CVS's extra care bucks to get stuff for free ( which i do every week )
Its great !
http://www.frugalcouponliving.com/

Also another tip .. Stay on the outer isles of the grocery store. The produce , meat, dairy sections are the healthiest places to shop. The least you buy on the inner isles the better.
Hope that is helpful !

Ok So what's been going on . The Short of it is ..

As i said we finally got moved in . Its been stressful .
Its stressful living with my parents. Let me let you get a mental picture of this set up of an "Apartment" LOL . ( Actually i will probably take a picture later ) Above their garage they have a room , it has enough room for a queen size bed, computer desk, futon and a chair. THAT is where I am living with my youngest son . My oledest son is staying down stairs in their extra room. So my younests and I have to come down stairs for the bathroom and to eat.
When Jason is in town ( hubby) he's up stairs with us too.
Now my dad loves to cook, and normally is home early from work or works when he wants ( he has his own company ) But because of the job he has going on he's working 12 hour shifts. Im not the biggest fan of his cooking. He does not use hardly any fresh veggies , just does not cook the way I do .
SO I told my mom , can I cook if you know dad wont be home. Was not sure if he would appreciate that or not. All last week dinner was ready when both of them got home from work. Not only did mom like it ( she's trying to lose weight so she likes my healthy cooking ) dad seemed to really appreciate it .
My mom would rather have my whole wheat pastas, breads, ect.
So things SO FAR are ok.
My dad has a bad habit of bringing home crap to eat. Donuts, cakes, ect.
So im having to watch it. Im still been able to maintain 140 pretty easily . But I am not comfortable with 140 as a "goal" , "final" , Im done number for me. I would be much happier with 130 I think. Someone who found my blog is suppose to have surgery with my surgergeon next week I believe , after that I get 2 free fills for a referal . So I will go get a slight fill and try to lose these last 10 pounds AGAIN !I swear these last 10 pounds are the death of me.

Im also thinking MAYBE i just need to get off my ass and just start walking, working out , doing something and I can get these last 10 pounds off like that and maintain it . I like the way I am eating now. Its not a lot , its a little more than "usual" but its good. So we'll see what i decide.
Cant tell ya'll how good it is to be back and be able to spend time on here and catch up on everyone's bloggs !

Chest Pains ?

DONT FREAK !! I am not sure if i am having anxiety attacks or what is going on . This has happened to me twice in the last month or so . Keep in mind I am under an UN GAWDLY amount of stress right now .
But I have been having some kind fo chest pains or pressure.
Both times happened when I did not get "StucK" but like it was just enough to say That's it your done eating.
Today I ate some egg noodles. Sometimes i can tolerate them sometimes i cant. So now Im having those pains again .
It hurts when I take a deep breathe sometimes.
I will go get this checked if it keeps up and when i have the money , just curious if anyone else experiences this ?

Maybe I still need a fill ?

Maybe I still need to get a slight tweek ?
I went to Houston this weekend to visit DH and we had a great visit.
He's been driving back and forth so much lately I decided to give him a break since it was his bday weekend and all.
But my hunger at night is really bothering me . Most of it is probably because i stay up later than I should.
But during the day I do pretty good. But at night i want to eat and eat and eat.
Im Sure im due for a fill soon , gotta be ?
But we'll see how it goes over the next week or so ?
See how my weight goes.

The 411 and all that Jazz since I have been gone !

Ok so I am back in cyber space thank GAWD ! Trying to check my emails from my razor NOT Fun ! Those were the times i wish i had not traded in my black berry and wished my SON was not the one with the iPhone !

So here is what's going on .... The birthday sleep over/party . Party went well.
Had about 6 boys here which was a good number. Just my parents and 1 good friend and my son's girlfriend and her mom was here ( Her mom and i have become friends HA gotta love that ). I'll tell more on a friend who did not come to the party later .
So the "party" ends and the sleep over begins , a couple boys left and there were 4 kids that were spending the night.
Okkkkk. I dont drink , but A NICE STIFF drink was in order. I have NEVER in my life wanted to beat someone else's child in my life the way I wanted to one that was here. And to make it even lovelier it was my neighbor's kid !
The other 2 boys are great, nice polite kids , just great kids. The 3 of the boys would have been WONDERFUL ! But this one kid is one of those who is RIGHT ALL THE TIME, KNOW"S EVERYTHING and is just SO GOOD AT EVERYTHING BETTER THAN YOU ARE !
They could not do Any Thing with out him starting an argument . His parents were at a funtion otherwise i would have sent his ass home . He was bullying the other children , taking things from them , throwing them up in the tree's. i got these glow sticks so the kids could play in the back yard and run around w/ them and have fun at night. He kept taking them and throwing them in the tree's.
Now this kids parents is one of those " my kids SO freaking smart kids " and I Know 50% of how he acts is thanks to them.
He's in the gifted and talented program at school, she said something to me the other night a bout him spending 3 HOURS doing home work. (He's in 3rd grade !!! ) i told her " ya know if he's spending 3 hours doing home work something is very wrong , district guidelines state they should only spend 10 minutes per grade level , i think maybe you should speak to someone about that, maybe his work is too hard " She right off" OH NO He's in GT its not too hard he's just lazy " I told her " WELL I thought that about my son too and found out he was dyslexic ! My point, no child needs to sit and TRY To do homework for 3 hours period a note would be sent to the teacher saying " SORRY NOT happening " She did not listen to me . SO anyway to my point. She comes to pick him up from the party the next am and says " SO was he good"
Humm how do I answer that ? I just said " OH YEAH Besides waking everyone else up in the house at 530 AM he was fine " DH got mad at me and said " YOU should have told her her son is a BULLY , argues with you , is disrespectful and cant play with other children " I said WELL that did not come to my mind at that moment. So I am not sure if i should say anything now or not ?

So that's that. NOW I have been trying really hard to get out of my depression I am in . Its all related to money , or the lack of it . I still cant find a job . But it is what it is. We'll make it one way or another im sure.
So I got an email from one of the booster club mom's at my son's high school. It said they needed a new Track Coordinator and someone to help with a festival coming up. Because of my weight over the yrs my son's freshman yr i did NOTHING to get involved w/ the sports program or the other moms to help do stuff.
So before football season i decided i was not going to sit back and be a spectator parent this yr. SO I went to the booster club meeting and volunteered to be the new Track and Field Coordinator . And to help with the Annual Wiener Dog Race Booth.
That is right the wiener dog race booth ! LOL
So im hoping that will help keep me busy , give me something to do and motivate me to get out of my funk .

On to my weight loss . My band got SO damn tight, i had to go off my wellbutrin for a week or so and i think that had a lot to do with it . If i had the money to go in back then I would have probably gone in for a slight unfill.
BUT Im glad i did not now. It has loosened up a bit and now its a pretty darn good fill. I dont think i know anyone else who can go since 11/06 was my last fill then got a slight unfill a month later and NOW still not need a fill because my band has seemingly filled itself LOL or that's what it feels like LOL
My band is something else that's for sure.
So im down about 136-137 now . So that's a good 3-5 pd weight loss. So Im happy with that.

I think that's about it i wont bore you with any more .
Thanks for listening !!! I have missed ya'll ~

Busy , busy , busy

I wont be around much i dont think the next few days. Lots going on and I have not times !!!
Tomorrow my little boy will be 8 ! So tonight , lord help me I made 24 cup cakes AND a cake .
Thursday is DH and I's 9th wedding anniversary , yes that's right I was IN The hospital on our one yr anniversary . LOL We did not wait long for the baby !!
The 13th is DH's birthday and then the 14th is that stupid heart holiday !
So between birthday parties at school, home and all that goes I dont have much time.
OH Yeah my disaster of a house needs clean !!
SO If im slacking sorry i'll see ya when i see ya ! OH WAIT one more thing, im down 3lbs and IM BACK ON MY MEDS !!!! SO maybe when im back i'll be HAPPY MINDY !!!!

YOU ate that ?

OK so i bought these a long time ago and though maybe i will try them some day . They look GOOD on the package. My band is REALLY tight right now . Between stress , not being on my wellbutrin and the cold weather its not a good combo. I frankly am tired of not eating solids. ( I am not sure if you would call this a solid though LOL)
BUT I needed some protein in . Im giving my band another week if it does not losen up im going to go get a slight unfill , but i think it will, im getting back on my meds today !!
So What is it ? Meatless RIBS !! That's right , Meat less RIBS !!
But ya know what ? As NASTY as they look , they are pretty darn good .
The BBQ Sauce is EXCELLENT and I know i live in Texas Damn it !!!
Seriously ,,, 18 grams of protein you cant beat that .
So drum roll on what they look like for REAL !!! ( And Dont make me slap ya'll , that IS MY Spider man fork !!! )