Roller Coaster of Emotions

The past day or so I have been on a rollercoaster ride of emotions.
I may have found a solution to my revision surgery . I thought .. The US Government has an insurance program for people with pre existing conditions its called PCIP. I cant get insurance because of my failed band. I started looking into this and found out they can ( not always) but can cover the removal surgery and the sleeve conversion . YAY !! (Up up up goes the cart)
That's all great I talk to hubs about it he says go for it , its expensive about $250 a month for just me . That's ok we will find away to get it . (Still going up on the cart here )
I see the deductible is $2000 ( Middle of the road deducible) Ok not too bad ( kind of on a straight away now ) and then i see you have to pay 20% of out patient and in patient hospital stays. Ummm that might not be so good . (going down now ) Then i see the maximum out of pocket for a year is $4000 . UMM MOST likely the surgery would cost me the Max out of pocket . I cant do $4000 ! (Fast down hill slide now ) So I go to bed crying last night upset that this wont happen for me .
Then i get up thinking maybe I wouldn't have to pay the full $4000 up front ? So I call the place i want to have the surgery and she says depending on the insurance sometimes you just have to pay $2000 at time of surgery and the rest the bill you for. ( ok things are looking up again )
Then I find out that although my BMI is JUST high enough ( Meaning im JUST FAT Enough ) that I need MORE things wrong with me most likely in order for this to work . (DOWN )
SO the short version ( after the long version you just heard ) is I dont think i will know for SURE until I get the insurance ( I just applied for it ) and apply for the surgery .
I dont know how else to do it. Im so depressed right now I just want to get this done. I have heart burn everyday all day long. Its like you dont have ENOUGH wrong with you and your not FAT Enough now to get this fixed !
We will just have to see .