Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Leave if you must ...
I had no idea when making the choice to ask for help , and go " public " with my band issues that in the process I may end up possibly loosing nearly every friend I thought I had .
The way my friendship works on my end at least is I may not agree with the choices you make , or the things you do all the time , BUT I will support you and stand by you .
Apparently my friendships do not work that way . I will tell anyone reading this .. if you do not agree with my choice to have this surgery and have a revision dont let the door hit you in the ass on the way out .
Everyone has the answers for me , just get a job, just get medicaid , just get a divorce , just do this just do that.. JUST come live in my shoes for a day and tell me how easy it is. Don't you people think if it were JUST that easy I would have done that by now ? Does anyone think its easy for me to ask for help , to ask for money ? To put my life in a fish bowl for you all to pick me a part bit by bit ? NO .. FRIENDS DONT DO THAT .. FRIENDS stand by your side .. WHERE ARE ALL YOU NOW ? Where are my friends who I have known for 20 yrs ?? Been there for you ? Listened to you ? Been a shoulder for you to cry on ? You know BEEN A FRIEND ? I have and always will do anything for my friends .. I dont expect anything in return .. Yet where are my friends when I ask for support ? Lets see NO WHERE or they are there to pick me a part ... So here are your answers and again I dont care what anyone thinks, I dont care what anyone wants, I'll do this one way or another with or with out your help and I WILL LOOSE EVERY SINGLE FRIEND in the process if I have to because frankly if you do not stand by me your not a friend ...
The " big"Issue seems to be WHY am I having a revision surgery after all the problems I have had with my band ?
BECAUSE I WANT TO BECAUSE I DONT WANT TO DIE !! PERIOD .. If that is not good enough for you ... Again dont let the door hit you on the ass on the way out of my life ! I dont care any more I dont care what others think , I dont care ... SO Let this be your notice to all of you , if you can not at least support me dont bother !!! I dont want pitty , i dont want you to feel sorry for me, I am not saying this for any other reason than this .. I am going through one of the most difficult times in my life , its very difficult on me and my marriage and my family . I NEED Support from my friends and I am not getting it ... I am not asking for ANYTHING ELSE than for you to be there for me regardless if you agree with my choice or not .. If that is selfish or self centered , than I guess i am wrong .