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I had no idea when making the choice to ask for help , and go " public " with my band issues that in the process I may end up possibly loosing nearly every friend I thought I had .
The way my friendship works on my end at least is I may not agree with the choices you make , or the things you do all the time , BUT I will support you and stand by you .
Apparently my friendships do not work that way . I will tell anyone reading this .. if you do not agree with my choice to have this surgery and have a revision dont let the door hit you in the ass on the way out .
Everyone has the answers for me , just get a job, just get medicaid , just get a divorce , just do this just do that.. JUST come live in my shoes for a day and tell me how easy it is. Don't you people think if it were JUST that easy I would have done that by now ? Does anyone think its easy for me to ask for help , to ask for money ? To put my life in a fish bowl for you all to pick me a part bit by bit ? NO .. FRIENDS DONT DO THAT .. FRIENDS stand by your side .. WHERE ARE ALL YOU NOW ? Where are my friends who I have known for 20 yrs ?? Been there for you ? Listened to you ? Been a shoulder for you to cry on ? You know BEEN A FRIEND ? I have and always will do anything for my friends .. I dont expect anything in return .. Yet where are my friends when I ask for support ? Lets see NO WHERE or they are there to pick me a part ... So here are your answers and again I dont care what anyone thinks, I dont care what anyone wants, I'll do this one way or another with or with out your help and I WILL LOOSE EVERY SINGLE FRIEND in the process if I have to because frankly if you do not stand by me your not a friend ...
The " big"Issue seems to be WHY am I having a revision surgery after all the problems I have had with my band ?
BECAUSE I WANT TO BECAUSE I DONT WANT TO DIE !! PERIOD .. If that is not good enough for you ... Again dont let the door hit you on the ass on the way out of my life ! I dont care any more I dont care what others think , I dont care ... SO Let this be your notice to all of you , if you can not at least support me dont bother !!! I dont want pitty , i dont want you to feel sorry for me, I am not saying this for any other reason than this .. I am going through one of the most difficult times in my life , its very difficult on me and my marriage and my family . I NEED Support from my friends and I am not getting it ... I am not asking for ANYTHING ELSE than for you to be there for me regardless if you agree with my choice or not .. If that is selfish or self centered , than I guess i am wrong .
I'm so sorry your friends aren't bring supportive. That really sucks. I really hope you can raise the funds you need to get your revision taken care of.
ReplyDeleteMindy, Are people asking questions, like, "Can you get a job that has insurance, Can you get Medicaid"...If they are, they are just trying to help or understand why you can't do these things. People just don't understand that you can't get a job with insurance, because they don't understand it doesn't work that way. People hear so many people are on Medicaid, but they don't understand you can't get it unless you are completely broke. Others don't understand how hard it is to get construction jobs right now. Construction is what your dad and Jason are trained in. No, they haven't gone to school to learn this trade, but until the past couple years, men COULD make a decent living and suppor their families with these jobs...And we know the reason they can't in many areas now!
ReplyDeleteTimes are tough for everyone right now... Maybe some people think you should have made better decisions earlier in life-like you should have saved money when you had it, you should have gone to school when you had a chance, but we can't change the past. You are trying to do the best you can right now.
Some people have made good choices in life and others are just lucky or fortunate that their lives have gone in a good directiion. Many of these people just don't understand when others fall on hard times. I'm not wishing bad times on these people, but some day, their husband may lose their job, or someone in their family may get sick and they have thousands of dollars in medical bills that can't be paid...That is the only way some of these people will understand.
Let you "fair weather friends" live their lives without you, and take the support from your true friends and be thankful for them.
No people are telling me " If it were me I would go get a job with benefits " , " if its such a major thing then the hospitals have to take it out , Medicaid would pay for it "
ReplyDeleteEveryone has all the answers for me ! I was even told last night to quit my job and divorce my husband so i can get medicaid. Yet working for it is not good enough for people !
People have a problem with me wanting and getting a revision .. that's MY business .. Im sorry i dont want to be fat and die of health issues ! Im sorry i cant lose weight on my own, if it were that easy dont they think I would have done it by now ?? I never berate or belittle my friends for the choices they make stupid or not I expected the same . Some of them do not even bother to call and ask " how are you doing" which is all I ask. It has NOTHING to do with Money , nothing to with anything other than I would expect my long time friends to see how I am doing every now and then ,,, and not TELL Me what i should be doing when they dont know .
People really told you to get a divorce? Wow, people suck...
ReplyDeleteYep ! That and quit my job ! Nice huh ?
ReplyDelete