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I had the 2 pairs of pants that fit me in the washer and needed to go somewhere. So I was going through my drawers, trying on the shorts, capris etc I had from last year . THROWING them in the hall way yelling after each one that did not fit. Then I found a pair that DID FIT . Sweet huh ? NO , HELL NO , EFF NO ... I realized it was the one pair of pants I kept from BEFORE MY LAP BAND SURGERY . You have GOT TO be kidding me . FML ! Talk about full circle . Yeah that's right I am literally right back where i started !
I went around my house like a bad woman , I think my husband thought I had lost my mind, I actually did I think . Yelling screaming crying. The poor man didn't know what to do with me. All I told him was " GET ME THE FUCKING SURGERY NOW ! I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO GET IT , I"LL GO TO MEXICO !! " He just said " I'll do everything i can babe " I really do not want to tell him all my issues( thank god for this blog even if no one read its ) because i don't want to put a lot of pressure on him, he knows I need/want the surgery . But I don't want to tell him how difficult it is for me to eat , etc. But I could not hold it in today ! I had had enough .
Yesterday my parents came to take me out to eat. I had a nice meal, at the end , i had to go to the bathroom to throw it up . Its a waste !!! A waste of a night out , a waste of a meal and a waste of money !
I dont know what else to do , All I can do is wait i guess ?
Actually glad I found your blog as I think it has helped me decided what I want to do for myself. I was thinking about WLS of some type, but now I've come to realize surgery isn't the answer. WTH is wrong with ME? I think I need to look into a different kind of doctor, one that can help me with my self control problem. I hope you don't take this wrong, but after spending the last 2 days reading your blog I can see an emotional roller coaster ride that you have been going through. Highs and lows, it's enough to drive a person insane. I'm much like you and I wouldn't wish this on my worse enemy. Honestly I do thank you for blogging as you have, it really opened my eyes.
ReplyDeleteFirst let me say I am sorry you are going through a rough time too . Next let me say not all WLS are bad. I got the band when it first came out , not much was known long term about it and people just didnt have the long term results they have now. If i had known then what i know now I would have 100% got the sleeve. Let me also say that If you are over weight(as i assume u are if your considering WLS) it has NOTHING To do with self control NOTHING. I have learned that from the band and this journey, one thing this band has taught me is being obese is 100% physical. Meaning there is something physically wrong with us that makes us that way . CAN You loose the weight on your own ? Possibly , some people can . Can I ? Most likely not. I know that sounds like a cop out , but its not. with my PCOS its nearly impossible. Im not saying you should get surgery , however, I am saying Self control has little to do with being over weight. Feel free to email me at mtolbert9201@gmail.com ... or if you like I am on a really good Face book group that is for patients who have failed bands and are considering other forms of WLS ... Its really helpful if you would like to join that it might help you decide. There are others on there who have had the band removed and have other surgeries and doing really well.
ReplyDeleteThanks for reading the blog, I am glad I could help.