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OK I am going to have a little vent ! This is not directed at any one person so dont get pissy with me ! This is something that comes up and probably something i have been guilty of myself.
OK here is how a conversation would go :
Me: Gosh i have gained 5lbs over the holidays , I am so upset , i need to get this weight off once a gain to get to goal , im so close .
Someone else : Oh you are just fine , You should be glad you have lost so much weight .
Someone else B: OH you will get it off , dont worry
Someone Else C : You have lost so much weight 5lbs is nothing to you
Someone else D : OH 5lbs I only wish ! You have lost so much weight I wish I could look that good ! ( actual comment not being stuck up )
You get the idea ?
So here are my points !
1. Just because someone has lost 50, 70 ect pds does not mean their gaining 5lbs does not freak them out any less than someone who still has that weight on !
2. It is NO LESS upsetting to someone at or near goal to gain weight or have a "set" back just because we have lost most of our weight.
3. giving a compliment followed by " 5lbs is no big deal " does not make us feel any better.
4. Im tired of my feelings being minimized because people think I should be grateful that I am close to goal, lost over 100lbs ect.
Telling someone ( me) that I look "good enough" im " small " enough does not make my feelings any different than anyone elses for gaining 5lbs.
About me and those 5lbs , I have lost and gained those 5 lbs since JULY !! I FINALLY Got them off before the holidays and gained them back AGAIN ! I have been 20 pds from goal since August ! That is SO FRUSTRATING I cant tell you . Am I grateful that i have lost the weight I have . YES . But does that mean I dont want to or should be at goal by now ?
Why is it "ok" for someone is has lost 20,40 60 lbs to be frustrated by a plateau but its not ok for ME or someone who has lost 100lbs or more ? I am not any different than anyone else that has had this surgery . I want to be at GOAL ! Just like everyone else !!!!
Sorry if this is pissy but frankly im a little pissed. I am tired of getting comments from friends, family , ect about this . If anything learn from this and dont do it to someone else !!!
Mindy
Sorry if (I)or anyone offended you! I'm sure they didn't mean to be patronising and only wanted to be supportive, I know you said this was not aimed at any one person but I kinda feel responsible as I am the only one to leave you comment today, and your very next post is you having a vent I feel maybe I tipped you over the edge, I am not saying that I am the only one trying to be supportive.
ReplyDeleteZena, No no no ... It was not aimed at you at all ! Its happened for quite some time and i have been meaning to say something. My mom is actually the one who set me off.
ReplyDeleteIm sorry hon. If i hear one more time from my mom " Your thin enough " i'll scream ! But it was not you my dear!
But I thought it was something important to bring up too .
Cause i get it alot. I get " OH 5lbs for YOU is nothing" BELIEVE me 5lbs for me is SOMETHING if i gain it ! A gain is a gain and im just like anyone else I DONT WANT IT ! And the longer this goes on ( Weight loss ) It does get harder to get off. The last few pds ARE harder to get off.
Its ok it was not you !
Love
Mindy
PHEW!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI am so pleased I have not upset you.
I think I do understand what you are saying! Looking 'thin enough' doesn't quite cut it when you have worked so hard. And yes I belive you when you say it's harder to lose weight the less you have to lose, as I said when you did your poll, you are the only one that will know when enough is enough, When you do get that last 1 lb off the sense of achievment will be staggering, and I can't wait to read that post when you do do it!.
Can I also comment again on the post before this one the 'normal' post. I can see what you are saying there too, when eating with restriction you are eating less than a 'normal' person, when you have less or no restriction and you eat like a 'normal' person and you gain weight, what are you supposed to do? I guess our bodies have adjusted to the amounts we are eating and thinks the smaller amount is the new 'normal' if you know what I mean? I guess we are going to to be stuck here for the rest of our lives, our metabolism must have adjusted too,especially when like for you , you have so little to lose.
Have I understood what you was saying? if not sorry and ignore ALL of what I have said lol.
Zena xx
Its not really the you look "thin enough " that bothers me so much its like people think " You have lost so much weight be happy and stop complaining " is the impression i get from people. Its like " SO what you need a measly 10 pds what difference does that make ? Its almost as if I dont get the "right" to complain .
ReplyDeleteOriginally my goal weight was 140 .I had that in my head for almost a yr . When i got close to that my doc said " NOPE" 140 im still over weight. So he said 125 or so . SO i had to totally readjust my thinking and my mindset for 125 . Now that im so close i have done nothing but bounce back and forth due to unfills .
I think what i was trying to say on my "is this normal post " is what you were saying as well as I dont think its normal to gain that much weight in such little time.
And i think that is why some people get over weight and some do not .
That this hunger i have now being unfilled ( even slightly) is NOT Normal. Its NOT normal to be this hungry all the time, its NOT normal to gain 5lbs in a week Just because i ate some carbs. I just do not think that's normal. I think part of it is our bodies adjust to how little we eat. But i also think the other part of it is what lead us to be over weight to begin with .
I mean my sister does not walk around and 10 mintues after eating a full meal want to eat another one.
So I think its not normal for it to be that way . Does that make sense ? Sometimes im not very good at expressing myself.
Mindy
Yes now I do understand exactly what you are saying, I absolutley agree that no surley it can't be normal to gain so much weight in such a short space of time, but also what we need to remember is glycogen stores, when we first start a diet we lose quite a few lb's in the first week, I also think it works the other way too, if you go of the diet (eat carbs) it adds to the glycogen stores quite quickly, I wonder if you would have carried on putting on so much over a longer period of time. As far as being so hungry much more than ever before, I have no idea and I sure don't want to experience that. It just goes to show we are stuck in this rut forever and nothing is going to make it easy for us. I worry about not having the band and I am only new at this and already I think it would be horrific without the band.
ReplyDeleteEverything you say does make perfect sense, and I think I do understand what you are saying I just don't think I am any good at expressing myself either, lol.
I am still waiting for that magic pill to make us all slim forever and we can eat exactly what we want. see...I am a dreamer !!!